Blog - Parent Resources

From a very young age, I knew I wanted to be a Mom.  

I started babysitting children at 10 years old, volunteering in the infant nursery at church, and jumping at every opportunity I had to interact with children. Fast forward to June 14th, 2000. My husband and I celebrated the safe arrival of our daughter, Baylea. The emotions that came with that experience were amazing. From her precious head to the tip of her ten perfect toes.  

God had blessed us with a child.  (And eventually two more!)

I remember after my oldest was born, thinking, “Lord, you have blessed us with the most wonderful gift,” and the Bible verse Psalm 139:13-14 immediately came to mind. “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

As the emotions of the moment flooded my heart, I also felt fear. I’m holding a tiny child in my arms. She is mine and you gifted her to us. Now what!?! I can feed her and take care of her needs now, but what on earth do I know about parenting? What do I do when there are questions I don’t know how to answer? Who do I go to for advice? What if I do something wrong in raising her?

Now, my husband and I are empty nesters and soon to be grandparents. While there were times over the years I wasn’t sure if we were going to make it or get through another parenting situation, through many tears and loss of sleep, we in fact did. We learned A LOT along the way.  

This past spring, a friend recommended a book, and we decided to read it together. Wow, I wish I had had it years ago. The book is Habits Of The Household by: Justin Whitmel Earley. In one section, he writes about, “Ways New Habits Lead The Heart.” Talk about convicting. Three points he reflects on: 1) My head thinks ….I want to be a patient person with my kids. 2) My head thinks … I want to give my kids my full attention. 3) My head thinks…I want to use moments of discipline to teach my kids, not to just be angry with them.   

While we have good intentions we fail as well. Has your child spilled their milk as they were finishing up breakfast and it went all over them, the chair, the floor, and the dog? 
Mine has. 
How did I react? Hmm… that’s tough. Do we react with yelling, moodiness, or constant negativity?

As I was reading, it reminded me of a situation with my own child. As parents, our patience is tested by our loving children.

When our youngest son was nine, he taught me about compassion and problem solving and gave me an opportunity to show him grace and forgiveness. He was trying to be thoughtful and fill water bottles for his siblings & I as we were taking on a huge yard project, in the heat. He comes back out & says, "Mom, could you please come inside to help me?" I get to the door & he very calmly says, "I accidentally knocked over the spaghetti jar in the fridge as I was pulling out water bottles. I didn't realize the lid wasn't on tight and it spilled all over the floor & fridge. Please forgive me and I am more than happy to help clean up but know I can't do it alone. I didn't want to upset you."

I stood in awe and gently opened the door. He quickly says, "I'm so sorry!"

This Mommy could have seriously lost her patience & come unglued.

What did I do!?! I turned to him and said, "You did the right thing and I'm proud of you!" I then began to laugh and we stood hand in hand laughing at the mess trying to figure out the best course of cleaning it up.

At the end of our mess we cleaned up together, he turned to me and said, "Thank you for keeping calm and not yelling at me."

Would it have done any good for me to lose my cool? Nope! Could I have completely squashed him by being impatient with him? Yes, I could have. I stopped and asked the Lord to give me patience to not do or say something I would regret and create a terrible memory for my child to remember.

We tackled a problem together, and I pray that whatever difficulty my children encounter in life now as adults, that they feel comfortable enough to come to me to talk and figure it out.

My kids are all grown and now being led by a wonderful plan God has for them. Am I done parenting? What does this new phase of life look like? God isn’t done with me.  

My prayer is to be a vessel to come alongside young parents and to be an encouragement to you!

Parents, YOU, yes, YOU, are doing a difficult job God has blessed you with. 
Embrace it. It’s an AMAZING ride!
 

-What is one/some ways that CVCS has impacted your life today? 
JAMES

The education I received at Cedar Valley really helped me in undergrad and grad school. There were classes I took that seemed fairly easy to me because I had already learned the foundational information at CV. Additionally, the values that I learned in classes like Family Living with Mr. Fogle continue to impact the way I raise my kids and care for my wife.

KENZIE

Cedar Valley was influential in my character development. I spent 14 years there, so I have no doubt that the culture impacted me. I saw daily what it meant to live with a Christ-like attitude and learned what truly lasts in life (I'm sure Mr. P still says it- God and people). They fostered an environment of kindness and respect, and I hope others can see that in me.

Cedar Valley also helped me prepare for the future academically. As I went through my college career, study habits and tough subjects that I'd learned at CV came naturally to me. For example, Mr. P's calculus class wasn't a breeze, but it sure made college math seem like a cake walk!  

I also have wonderful friendships that started over 25 years ago at CV. When you can connect with someone on not just a personal but also a spiritual level, those relationships thrive. These prior classmates and peers have become such special people in my life.

-How did attending CVCS impact your walk with the Lord?

JAMES

Cedar Valley helped me shape a biblical worldview. The conversations I had with teachers about life and relationships with God has had an impact on me that's lasted into adulthood. The Bible classes enhanced my knowledge of God and gave me good context around what other religions believe and why we can trust Christianity.

KENZIE

Cedar Valley gave me a safe place to ask questions and explore my faith. I was surrounded by teachers and peers who encouraged me in my walk, and the curriculum constantly pointed back to the work done on the cross. I remember getting together with upperclassmen before school and working through Bible studies together. It was another way that showed me how to be a servant to others. The teachers were also great examples of how to live a life pleasing to the Lord. As a child, I don't think I fully understood their impact on my life, but as an adult, I'm so thankful to have had adults I trusted who loved the Lord.

-What is one of the best memories you have from your time at Cedar Valley?

JAMES

My favorite memory from Cedar Valley is probably the really hard basketball practices with Mr. P and Dr. Hodge and their pre-game John Wooden lessons. The field trip to Maquoketa Caves in 6th grade with Miss Cronbaugh, East Iowa Bible Camp overnight in 8th grade, and Mr. Foote class stories also rank up there.

KENZIE

Oh man, I have so many great memories of CV! A top memory from elementary school was the 3rd grade Bonus Bucks Store. You had the opportunity to earn "bonus bucks" each semester by doing extra work, and then you got to spend them at the end of the semester. I was always so motivated to earn those bucks, and there were some awesome prizes! Also that year, we could earn CVKC (Cedar Valley Kids Cooperate) stickers for going above and beyond during class and specials. Once the chart was filled, we would take an afternoon off and have a movie party, complete with popcorn, snacks, stuffies, and blankets. We were so amped when these days arrived!

As far as high school goes, basketball and volleyball trips were always such a blast, and winning state in volleyball was the icing on the cake. I also have an oddly large number of memories of trying to get Mr. Foote off topic by bringing up U2 or obscure history facts. James and I didn't start dating until after college, but I do have to credit CV for where we first met :)

-Why did you decide to send your daughter to CVCS?

We went back and forth for a while as we decided whether we wanted to homeschool our kids or send them to public versus private school. However, once we decided to utilize the private school option, the decision to send them to Cedar Valley was easy. We knew the mission of Cedar Valley, and after doing some additional research, we concluded that they still uphold the same values they did 20+ years ago. The teachers at CV are also outstanding. Although they are each unique, they all have a special way of coming alongside each kid to find their individual strengths and gifts. James and I still have relationships with teachers we had back in elementary and high school, and we think that speaks volumes to the impact they make in a child's life. We also value the small class sizes, which makes learning easier and also leads to additional extracurricular opportunities, such as Get To Know You Days or whole class senior trips.

-What is one thing that you appreciate about CVCS for her?

We love that CV goes PK-12th grade and that interaction between students in lower and upper grades is encouraged. Our siblings also went to CV, and it created a sweet dynamic when we got to see them periodically in the halls, during lunch, at recess, or potentially as a reading buddy. Kids in older classes were always looked up to, and CV helped (and still does!) foster positive relationships between all grades.

What is your deep hope for your girls? Is there a way that CVCS helps you accomplish that to any degree?

Ultimately, we pray our girls will develop a deep love for Christ and His Word. Psalm 109:113 talks about the Lord's words being sweeter than honey, and I think that's a great metaphor for how we want our girls to see the wisdom He provides (and if you know anything about our girls, it's that they'd put honey on ANYTHING!). As so many conflicting views about truth are thrown at them, we pray they would be grounded in God's word. As an outpouring of their trust in Him, we also desire that the fruits of the spirit would be evident in their lives. We talk a lot at home about letting Christ's light shine through us by showing kindness to others, having joy in tough circumstances, prioritizing patience, and utilizing self control.

As parents who love Jesus, it can feel like many things in this world are working against us. However, we value that CV comes alongside us in helping reinforce what our girls are being taught at home. We know that the things they are learning, whether that's academically, spiritually, or emotionally, are backed by scripture and truth.

It's so fun to walk into CV and see many familiar faces from when we both attended. I think that speaks to the culture of CV. People see the impact the school has made on their own lives, so they choose to stay involved. We feel very blessed that we have the opportunity to send our girls to Cedar Valley and are excited to see how the Lord uses them and the school this year and in the future! 

 Let’s talk about....

It’s the beginning of a new school year—the perfect time to set the stage for learning success. Try these simple strategies with your child:

• Get a head start. Many families find that organizing at night prevents morning “rush hour.” You can review school papers, pack and refrigerate lunches, set backpacks by the door and agree on outfits.

• Establish sleep routines. Choose a reasonable bedtime so your child is rested when it’s time to wake up. Elementary schoolers need between 9 and 12 hours of sleep daily. Middle and High School Students need between 8 and 10 hours of sleep daily. Try to stick to the bedtime on weekends, too.

• Develop morning habits. When children do the same things in the same order each morning, it’s less likely that they will forget a step.

• Choose a work time. Establish a time when your child will have the most energy and motivation to do assignments. Create a quiet study spot, complete with necessary supplies. Your child should work at the same time each day.

• Set priorities. Schedule things like schoolwork, sports, lessons and most importantly family time.

• Believe in your child and their God given abilities. Praise them for effort and approach.

• Offer support when your child stumbles. Remind your student that failure happens to everyone and mistakes help people grow. Be your child’s “safe place,” and provide constant love and acceptance.

• Empower your child to believe in themselves and Jesus Christ.
"Stand true to what you believe. Be courageous. Be strong". 1 Corinthians 16:13b

Let’s talk about....

Independence. We all need to be praised and encouraged as we journey on our walk of life.

Do you encourage your child to work independently?

“Mom, I can’t do it. I need help!” Every child makes that plea once in a while. But if you hear it every day, you may need to help your child become more independent.

Answer yes or no to the questions below to find out if you are fostering self-reliance: ___1. Do you tell your child, “I believe in you and know you can do it.”

___2. Do you help your child break big projects down into smaller pieces that are easier to finish?
___3. Do you remind your child of the importance of persistence? “You couldn’t ride a bike the first time you tried. But you kept at it. Is there another strategy you could try?”
___4. Do you ask questions when your child gets stuck? “What did you learn when you read the chapter?”
___5. Do you offer praise when your child finishes work without assistance?

How well are you doing? If most of your answers are yes, you are helping your child learn how to work independently. For no answers, try those ideas.

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me". Philippians 4:13